Dude…you’re doing it WRONG.

Hopefully Darwin caught him in time. That has to be pretty dam painful…

Funny Headlines, then off to bed (again)

DOH!

Umm…did we not pay attention in economics?

Ah, yes…I believe the South had the upper hand in air supremacy.

Give that painter a raise!

Wait, they’re multiple choice? To think that all this time I thought we had to follow them ALL!

That’s some fine police work, there Lou. “Be on the lookout for a man with…a forehead.”

Ahh, my home state does me proud once again!

*snicker*

Wow, color ME suprised!

Umm…hang on. I was told there would be no math.

How Twilight Should Have Ended

(Tags: Blade, Vampire Hunter, Daywalker)

More info: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120611/

Favorite quote from the movie: “You’re nothing to me but another dead vampire.”

Movie rating for Blade: 100/5 (Yes, 100 out of 5 possible. That’s how much this movie ROCKED!)

Movie rating for Twilight: ?/5 (I really don’t know HOW to rate this movie since it was so damn random. Was it a romance? Action? Comedy? Horror? Dammit, man…pick a genre!)

*DISCLAIMER* I don’t necessarily HATE Twilight – it wasn’t a BAD movie, per se. This is just an example of me bashing something that is popular. :)

Random Stuff From the Web – 09/07/2009

Ten Worst Evolutionary Designs

1 Sea mammal blowhole. Any animal that spends appreciable time in the ocean should be able to extract oxygen from water via gills. Enlarging the lungs and moving a nostril to the back of the head is a poor work-around. (Maybe it was originally intended to be a land animal too?)

2 Hyena clitoris. When engorged, this "pseudopenis," which doubles as the birth canal, becomes so hard it can crush babies to death during exit.  (YIKES!)

3 Kangaroo teat. In order to nurse, the just-born joey, a frail and squishy jellybean, must clamber up Mom's torso and into her pouch for a nipple. (Meh, I’ve heard of worse.)

4 Giraffe birth canal. Mama giraffes stand up while giving birth, so baby's entry into the world is a 5-foot drop. Wheeee! Crack. (Kinda sorts out the weak ones from the get-go, doesn’t it?)

5 Goliath bird-eating spider exoskeleton. This giant spider can climb trees to hunt very mobile prey. Yet it has a shell so fragile it practically explodes when it falls? Well, at least it can produce silk to make a sail. Oh, wait — it can't! (Wait…what?)

6 Shark-fetus teeth. A few shark species have live births (instead of laying eggs). The Jaws juniors grow teeth in the womb. The first sibling or two to mature sometimes eat their siblings in utero. Mmm ... siblings. (*shudder*)

7 Human stomach. People can digest a lot — except for cellulose, the primary component of plant matter. Why don't we have commensal bacteria in our guts to do it? They're busy helping termites. (Maybe that’s why it ends up on our thighs?)

8 Slug genitalia. Some hermaphroditic species breed by wrapping their sex organs around each other. If one of said members gets stuck, the slug simply chews it off. What. The. Hell? (Seriously…what the hell?)

9 Quadrupeds. Let's say you're a four-footed animal. Now let's say you get a wound on your back, or an itch, or a bug wandering up there. Tough luck, kid. You probably can't do much about it. Hope there's a low branch around. (Thumbs and tool building skills come in handy at a time like this too!)

10 Narwhal tusk. The unicorn-like protuberance on a male narwhal's head is actually a tooth that erupts through the front of the jaw and keeps on growing, up to 9 feet. Narwhal: "Doc, I have a toothache." Dentist: "Indeed." (Wonder if that’s covered under my dental plan?)

More after this brief commercial interruption:

WTF Pic

I just don’t…what…seriously? What…*shudder*

That’s all for now!

Time to update…

So I haven’t updated in a while. Sue me. There have been some major changes in my life over the last…well, while.

I quit my job at Central States, and now I work as a Network Technician for Area Wide in Champaign. It’s an awesome company, I love the people I work with and the job is pretty cool too. I actually look forward to going in to work every day.

I’m also in the middle of a divorce. I’ll take the high road here and  spare you the gory details. Suffice it to say that even though it’s been an ordeal, everyone is better off this way.

I now have my own place in a little town called Mahomet. Yeah, I never heard of it either, but damn if it isn’t a great place to live.

I also have a new girlfriend (even though it seems weird for use the whole “boyfriend/girlfriend” terminology at our age…) who is absolutely wonderful. I won’t go into all the mushy details here – no one wants to hear that, right? :)

Now that you’re up to speed, what can you expect from here on out? Well, hopefully I’ll update more often and actually give you some content worth looking at.

In the computer world, I am excited about Windows 7 coming out later this month. Anyone who knows me knows that I loathe Vista. From the resource usage to the way it never TRULY connected to business networks, Vista was the suck.

Windows 7, on the other hand, is leaner, meaner, and so much hotter than Vista. I definitely recommend it.

Thats about it for today – hopefully things keep looking up for me, and stay tuned!